


Listen, I Didn't Mean To Start This

by The_Impavid



Series: Shenanigans [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Comic Book Science, Fuck science, Generation Z Peter Parker, Genius Peter Parker, Happy Hogan is a Good Bro, Intern Peter Parker, Original Character(s), Precious Peter Parker, Takes Place 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 06:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20466539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Impavid/pseuds/The_Impavid
Summary: Peter only has a month to prove himself worthy of Stark Industries, and if by Thor, he'll get this shit done.





	Listen, I Didn't Mean To Start This

Peter’s work career at the Compound changes drastically the first month he is there and honestly, how did anybody expect a new generation revolution? Nobody ever expects the kids. The researchers of the biochemistry department should have known Peter Parker would turn everything about after he was the only one to get away with calling Renee Montes "Mr Ma'am" as a new, PERMANENT, nickname. Not to mention he is somehow already somewhat close to the Head of Security. An impossibility by itself. This kid was about to change the game.

The first day with his group, Peter thinks his team members are all respectable and so he listens to everything they have to tell him. He takes only one break after Mr Woodard explained their purpose and spends the next 3 hours diligently building his SI account & going over the group’s previous trials. Of course, he could study it at home, but right now he doesn’t want to look like an idiot in front of everyone. This is his one chance to impress and show he deserves to be a part of SI one day. Suck it up, Parker!

“Let’s go, Parker.” Happy calls out, nonstop walking to the car at 7 and Peter waves to Anston before following. Peter is able to catch Amanda, one of his new team members, staring at him & Happy confusedly. 

He tries not to dwell on it when they get in the car and flops on the seat with zero effort. Dead body level. He only moves a bit to put on the seatbelt when Happy reminds him, otherwise, he's helplessly trying to process the day. The last thing he expects is, “How was your first day?”

The man is watching Peter through the rearview mirror and Peter thinks he actually sees some concern. Wow, he must be really tired. "Uh, yeah it was good. You know, just learning the ropes and all." 

That right there is Happy's concern. The lack of energy and enthusiasm the kid had to go on earlier. Sure, he was nervous, but you can just tell how excited Peter was. He gives the kid an unimpressed look that makes him shrink back a bit. “Uh huh…” no way does that tone say he believes Peter. “We still got a lot of time until we get back to your apartment.” He is trying to be encouraging.

Peter cracks of course. How could he not when Happy is actually trying to be nice to him? Cue the heavy sigh and montage music for what happens within the next 40 minutes:

“I know I'm young, but they were all talking about me like I'm 6! Jeez, I'm not a baby!”

-

“Oh my gosh, they tried to explain to me what their formulas meant. That would have been nice and all, but they took it too far! I understand chemistry! They tried to tell me each element symbol we came across! H is for hydrogen. Yeah, no kidding dude!”

-

“Happy, I'll have you know I'm 15. Want to know what that means? It means I have some basic common sense. For some reason, they all thought I would be like a little kid and start messing with everything! They barely even trusted me with one of the tablets.”

-

“I'm not stupid! I'm not just going to drink the ammonium hydroxide and they acted like I was going to. C’mon guys!”

-

“They brought up irresponsibility too. They started dissing out how kids my age keeps posting about Tide Pods as snacks. I'll have you know that nobody is actually eating them. Not yet at least! It's just a joke.”

-

"All the people call me ‘kid'! I don't mind it when you or Mr Stark call me that, but I just met these people. I find it really disrespectful!”

37 minutes. That’s how long Peter rants on about his new team members and honestly, that guy can probably have a world record for not breathing. At one point, Happy was absolutely sure that Peter was just going to go blue when he got on about the evil eyes Amanda had for him. Whatever that was supposed to mean. In all honesty, Happy probably only listened to 10% of the very one-sided conversation, but it seemed to do Peter some good. Go off, I guess.

They pull up to the building and Peter is comfortably slumped into the seats, worn down. “Thanks, Happy. I needed that.” Peter pats his shoulder before clambering out.

“No problem, kid. Same time tomorrow.” Before he shuts the door, he hears, “And just remember, might as well be yourself and not worry about the other employees.” Hm…

In the last week, Peter is finally getting along with his team members and is being treated more adult-like. He’s been bumped up from studying all their files to being the new coffee runner. It's less productive, but now they know he won’t drink any cleaning solutions. Meanwhile, the rest of the team, well the rest of the biochemistry sector is trying to figure out this new kid. Like, there's the fact he is an actual kid, but that he is friends with the Head of Security. Like actual friends and isn’t just being told what to do.

It’s Peter’s job to make a round of coffee for the team, well hot cocoa for himself and coffee for the grown-up people. All is good, the water kettle is going, the cups are all ready to be filled, and Peter is just kicking back against the wall. Then someone tries to kill him.

Okay, not really kill per se. But that door opened really fast!

“Whoa! Sorry, kid! Almost killed ya!” Morris Pena, one of the only undergrad students says, laughing.

Peter, being one of the most dramatic people in the world, stares at Morris with the most defiant look he can muster. “Do it, coward…”

Morris just turns to look at Peter because what is wrong with him? Does the kid have issues? Is he suicidal? Is this just a teenage phase? Should Morris actually go call someone to help him? “What?”

Peter just smirks before going to pour hot water into all the mugs. “Have a nice day!” he acts like nothing just happened. Maybe nothing did. Is Morris just imagining things now? That's actually quite possible. He's lost count of how many hours he's been up. Bed seems like a good idea right about now.

Coffee runner became postman, or postboy depending if you ask anyone other than Peter, and he now runs supplies & equipment for the team. It is late at night, an hour before carpool with Happy and his group finishes another trial. To get the results, they needed the supplies, more specifically the extraction vials to get out an algae sample. All this leads to Peter walking into Jason Hendricks’ order station to pick up the delivery.

“Hey, I'm Peter!” This small kid greets, practically skipping into the office. If the news about a teenager being the new intern, Jason would’ve thought Stark Industries finally had a breach. A tiny, prepubescent, non-threatening breach.

“Jason.” He doesn't have time for nonsense. “Do you need anything?”

“A will to live.”

“What?”

That kid has the audacity to just laugh at his face!

“Oh, uh,” Peter scratches the back of his head and shrugs. "I'm picking up an order for Dr Woodard."

Jason just gives Peter a wary look before passing over his tablet, “Yeah… just sign this.” The kid takes it and Jason pulls out Woodard’s package from the shelf.

“Sure thang!” Peter finger guns, sign it and gets the box. “Thank you!” He calls out as he walks away.

“What the fuck?” Jason whispers to himself and shakes his head. The kid can deal with his issues by himself. Jason has to figure out why Team #8 needs 30 cases of energy drinks.

Working with synthetic algae is a mainly harmless process so there were never any accidents in the lab. That was before Assistant Technician Valerie finally got a date with a guy not tattooed, pierced, paroled, or all of the above. Valerie has the date set after her designated lab time and won’t have time to drive 40 minutes home, get ready, and meet her date without being late. So, she is overly dressed the entire day and tries to helplessly hide it under her fully buttoned lab coat. Her red stilettos are a bit of a dead giveaway though.

She is spraying herself with too-expensive perfume in the corner of the lab, which is allowed since the experiment is not affected above surface level. All is fine until fire catches. Literal fire. As she feels flame beginning to lick the back of her coat, she suddenly remembers the new waste bins. The ones the engineering department recently sent to other departments of diverse testing for the next two months. The ones that incinerate all items every ten minutes after the sensor is triggered. The one she is currently leaning against.

Peter’s spidey-sense goes off the second before Valerie presses the nozzles and he watches in horror as flames skyrocket out of the bin. He faintly hears Valerie scream, catching the attention of the rest of the team, before her lab coat is ablaze.

“This is not ideal.”

“Not now, Parker.”

Dr Woodard & Garrett hurry across the room and try to handle the flaming woman. Peter, Tyrone, & Amanda cover the tanks as best they could with wires currently being in the way. Eric activates a fire alarm in their room, vents seal shut, doors swing open, windows blind over, and several extinguishers spray repeatedly from the ceiling. Valerie missed her date because she had to fill out an accident report.

“Holy shit… I think he did it.”

6 pairs of eyes stand around one of the tanks, all unblinking and gobsmacked. That tank, in particular, is vastly different from the others; near clear in the water and small aquatic life still swimming about. Something the others could not achieve. But apparently, Peter Parker did. The kid actually refined the algae formula to work perfectly. Cleaning the pollution in the tank without killing the natural life forms. The kid did it.

It’s been 10 minutes of the team ogling Peter’s only tank when the kid himself walks into the room. He walks into the room, gnawing on a bright pink, sprinkled doughnut, and trying to catch as much as he can. Peter stops in his steps and mimics a deer in headlights with all the eyes suddenly on him. Nobody says a word.

“Did you guys want me to bring doughnuts for you?" He hastily asks, holding his snack close to his chest protectively. "Like, uh I can just go get more real quick." He points his thumb back at the door, but everybody still stays in the same position. “Breaker breaker?” He squeaks.

Garrett, the tall, blond latte, points to Peter’s tank and the kid follows his eyes. He nearly drops his doughnut. “Is that mine?”

“Yeah,” Woodard steps to the side as Peter walks up to the tank. “We extracted the algae and ran the numbers on it. It looks perfect so far.” 

“We’re going to get some more tanks and give it another two weeks before we bring the results up to Mrs Montes." Amanda chirps. She holds out a small vial to Peter and he takes it gently. Lonesome algae are shifted to one side and on the outside, masking tape reads, ‘SEC5, #4, T32, PARKER’.

“We ran it through the centrifuge for an hour then gave the formula to Stark’s supercomputer.” 

“And?”

“100% accurate.”

Peter is seeing black specks fluttering the edges of his vision. He might actually faint in front of his team. Who can blame him when he just helped solve water pollution at 15? He says the only reasonable thing that can come to mind.

“YEET!”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Goddamn it, Parker.”


End file.
